Keroro's New Years Eve: Or, Truth or dare, or double dare
by Mizuzu Pelagos
Summary: Keroro is hosting a News Years slumber party and playing Truth or Dare with his friends. How deranged can the dares be? Rated T for somewhat crude and cruel humor.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunso. All rights go to Mine Yoshizaki**

 **Happy New Years, everyone! And thanks for checking out my work!**

* * *

Normally it was only Keroro who slept at the Hinata house when not meeting with his platoon; the others preferred to stay with their friends/captors. But a few days ago, Keroro had a brilliant idea for New Years Eve: host a slumber party to help his friends bond a little better. So, he persuaded the Hinatas to send invitations to everyone in their small circle of friends to come on over and stay at the Hinatas, with boys and girls in separate rooms, of course. Sure, it's stretching the family budget, but Aki's runs a comic book publishing company; she can easily afford more than 3 kids and Keronians! Keroro even managed to invite Pururu and Garuru over!

On the first floor, Fuyuki, Natsumi and their human friends were having fun, sipping sodas, watching movies on TV, playing board games provided by Momoka, and other typical slumber party fare. But downstairs, Keroro had something a little more ambitious in mind for the aliens. It all started normally enough when they were having a little deluxe pizza; Giroro and Dororo were talking about their parents, while Kululu was showing Pururu what he did to Giroro's desktop wallpaper: he Photoshopped his head onto Natsumi's bikini body with the message 'Come on, Giroro, you know you want to.' Pururu wasn't pleased, "You do realize it scares Giroro, right?"

"Of course I do, Pururu; I do this to Giroro all the time for this very reason. Last time I changed it to a tacky, hot pinup of his mom!"

"What?! That's messed up! Who thinks of these things?"

"Relax, lady. I've got more entertaining things planned for Giroro, tonight; watch as I-"

"Attention!"

It was Keroro: "It's time for a little game of Truth or Dare."

"Oh, come on. A Pekoponian party game?" Said Giroro. "I hope you're joking; back when we tried it as kids it was the lamest game ever!"

"We had no real experience back then. I, however, have learned from the pros: namely, Natsumi and Koyuki. Observe."

As he spoke, a door in the ground opened, and a table with two decks of cards rose up in place. Keroro came to pick one deck up and shuffle it. "Now," he said, "we're going to play the Keroro House Rules."

"Let me guess, rule number one is _Keroro wins every time?_ " Kululu said, only half-jokingly.

"Nah! What's the fun in that? The real rules are as follows: whoever gets the highest number out of these cards gets to go first." Keroro distributed cards around to the Keroro Platoon (minus Shin Keroro, because he was a little young for this), Angol Mois, Pururu and Garuru: there were 25 cards, but only eight were passed. "Anyway, when it's your turn, the daring dude or dudette will choose his or her first victim. The victim will be asked to choose Truth or Dare. If he/she picks Truth but refuses to tell the truth, he/she has to do the dare, and vise versa. Some dares, however, are too dangerous to deploy on your enemy-I mean friend. Those dares will be called out, and the darer will have to perform a Double Dare; he or she will choose the Double Dare from this deck of cards here. Whoever takes a Double Dare is out of the game automatically. And that about covers it! Any questions?"

Tamama had a question: "What's the prize?"

"Tamama, you don't win Truth or Dare. You just play until you get tired of it."

"Okay."

"Any more questions? No? Okay everyone, look at your cards."

Keroro sneakily tried to shuffle the deck so that he could get one of the higher-numbered cards; Keroro revealed his card, numbered 23. Kululu revealed his card with the number 25. Keroro went blue in the face with horror. "Oh no," he thought, "Kululu's got the highest card. I'll bet he's got quite a terrifying dare."

* * *

When everyone reveal his or her card, Kululu turned to Giroro: "Okay, dude, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Giroro, is it really true that you want to smooch Natsumi?"

Giroro froze. Then, he stammered, "Uhhhh...errrr...n-n-n-n-no."

Keroro laid bare Giroro's lie: "I saw you looking at pictures of adult Natsumi from when we were at Dionaka Beach, and I also saw you mail some to Dororo. Kululu gave your pictures to me on a CD!"

Giroro was embarrassed enough to want to run away. "B-b-but how do you find them!? I tried to save them on my USB and delete the computer file!"

"Just as I suspected." Kululu was smiling; he had the perfect dare for Giroro: "Since you refused to tell the truth, it's time for the dare! I dare you to dance badly on a table for Natsumi while singing and wearing this costume." Kululu was holding a costume that was a mishmash of pirate, ninja and belly dancer fashions.

"Are you kidding me? I'd rather wear that Mardi Gras bikini! This is even less manly!"

"Drag is cliché. Oh yeah, and we're filming it for posterity. Now go change."

Natsumi was getting a glass of water when she saw a bizarrely dressed, belt-free Giroro leap up onto the table and greet Natsumi. And then he belted out, in a deep voice:

" _Ooooooh I am mighty Giroroni, the king of the seeeeea._

 _You're my sexy pirate gal! Come sail with meeeee!_

 _We can steal Dororo's katana, for tonight we sword dance!_

 _It's dancey time at the sandwich bar. Take off your pants!_

 _I am the mightiest warrior. HallelujAAAAAAAAGH!"_

Giroro tripped on a pebble that Keroro placed on the table, and fell off onto a chair, which also fell over. Natsumi laughed hard, spitting water out of her mouth, and the Keronians laughed harder. Giroro, of course, felt like he wanted to die out of sheer embarrassment. He got up and walked away, crying.

* * *

Next up, Keroro. "Okay, I've got a good question for Garuru. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth it is. Lay it on me."

"Did you steal Tamama's cake slice at my birthday party last year?"

Garuru froze; he feared getting laughed at for saying yes, but he was wondering if Keroro knew about his secret. He sighed, "Yes, I stole the piece of cake. I was really hungry and lost my sense of judgement. Sorry, Tamama."

"Thank you." Tamama said, begrudgingly. "I knew it was you. You looked so shady to me at the time, and Shin Keroro told me he saw you."

Garuru was ashamed, but relieved that Tamama was the eyewitness. He was hoping Keroro didn't have something horrible for him, otherwise. He then glared at Shin Keroro. Shin-K shivered in fear; he was already scared of Garuru to start with, but now he was even more scared.

* * *

Dororo had card number 21, so he went third. "Keroro?" He said, "Truth or Dare?"

"I've got very little to hide, so dare."

"I dare you to apologize for as many of the awful things you did to me as a kid as you can."

Keroro tried to deny being a bad friend to Dororo so long ago. "What? You must be kidding. That's even tamer than I expected of you. You know I've always been your best friend."

"But Keroro! You're so mean to me, even now. What kind of friend are you? Where is your soul?"

Keroro tried to console the crying blue frog, while denying his checkered past. Soon a switch flipped in his brain; we'll call it his empathy switch.

" _AAAAGH!_ _Okay, Dororo! I'm sorry I forgot your name at least 5800 times! I'm sorry I replaced the guacamole in your lunch with wasabi! I'm sorry for repeatedly leaving you with ferocious space Rottweilers! I'm sorry I stole your first Gundam! I'm sorry I spilled lemon juice on your face at our first sleepover! I'm sorry I used you as a shield for snowball fighting_ _and_ _dodgeball at gym! I'm sorry for forcing you and Pururu to watch_ _Ultimate Warriorz: Uncut_ _on your date! I..."_

The list took over an hour to complete, and Keroro was tired. The others were laughing at the stupid forms of abuse Keroro lobbed at Dororo over the years; Tamama supplied more snacks for everyone. It was so gripping to watch!

* * *

When Keroro was ready again, just in case he was victim again, Tamama revealed he was the next darer (is that what you call it?), with card #19. He turned to Angol Mois, wearing an evil face. Actually, it was more akin to taking off his good face and revealing the evil underneath. "Yo, Miss Mois. Truth or Dare?"

"Hmmm. I'm not sure what kind of secret you'd want to learn, so dare."

" _ **I dare you to stop stealing my Sarge and #$ &^ %$ KILL YOUR-**_"

Thankfully, Keroro intervened between Tamama and Miss Mois, just as Shin Keroro was about to ask Tamama what '#$&^ %$' meant. "Woah! Looks like Tamama gave Mois an illegal dare. Tamama, prepare for Double Dare!"

"...okay." Tamama gulped. "Oh, I've done it now," he thought, drawing a card from the Double Dare deck. "I better not get...oh I'm getting sick just thinking of that one."

The card Tamama picked said _Do something to get on Natsumi's nerves._ Tamama was baffled; "Something tells me this would've also been considered an illegal dare in another context, but my suggestion beats this, big time."

Upstairs, Natsumi and Saburo were watching some TV dramas. Tamama was checking the TV guide; he found the perfect channel to change to, AWESOME TV, as it was showing Ultimate Warriorz: Uncut. "Perfect!" Tamama was giggling just at the thought of seeing Natsumi's face after seeing this movie, which she _also_ was forced to hate-watch on the same day as Dororo and Pururu. "This is the best dare ever!"

The show was getting climactic. "Come on, Hiroshi! Confess your love to Akira!"

Hiroshi was about to let it out, "Akira-chan! I can't hide it anymore! I-I-Love-"

The screen went black, and AWESOME TV came up with a shirtless man, with a gun, saying "Let's turn on the HARDCORE FACTOR!"

Natsumi screamed almost loud enough to break glass, and turned off the TV reflexively, and Tamama gave away his presence with laughter. "Oh my GAWD! You should've seen the look on your face! You're so- AAAGH! Gotta run!"

Tamama narrowly escaped Natsumi's clutches, running straight back to the basement in fear, and locked the door. Keroro was watching the whole affair on a hidden camera, guffawing like a drunk hyena. Tamama slapped Keroro in the face. "Sarge, how could you do this to me? You selfish clown! No wonder they want to fire you!"

Keroro stopped laughing. He felt guilty for including that card now. He and Tamama went to Natsumi, and he said, "I'm sorry, Natsumi. I gave Tamama a dare."

"You do realize that this dare borders on psychological abuse, more so than most dares! You both should feel ashamed."

"*sniff-sniff* We're sorry, Natsumi!" They both cried. They felt too sorry for each other to continue playing. The others just carried on, deciding to go a little easier on each other.

* * *

With Keroro and Tamama out, Giroro went next; he had card #16. "I've got something a little more innocent for you, Pururu. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth"

"Remember that conversation not too long ago with Garuru? I've got a juicy-but-not-abusive question. Do you still like Take That and Duran Duran?"

"Whoah!" Pururu never thought she'd get asked this. "Uhhh...uhhhh..."

"Go on, Pururu. Don't worry, we won't harass you for this. We promise."

"Yes. They really take me back." she sighed, relieved but downcast.

"Does your iPod have their Greatest Hits albums?"

"Yep."

"Girls and their boy bands and pop." Garuru muttered. "They need some more real music like _metal_."

"Hey, who's the one that introduced you to B'z and Spitz? That would be me!"

* * *

"Angol Mois, you've got card #12? You're up." Dororo said.

"Thanks, Dororo. I've actually got a good one. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to take off your mask in front of everyone in the house."

Dororo shuddered. "W-w-what? D-d-d-d-do I have to? C-c-c-can't I just do it in front of you and you can describe it to the others?"

"Just take the dare, already! Man up!" Giroro barked. "I wanna see it!"

And so, they all went upstairs, including Keroro and Tamama. "Hey Pekoponians! Dororo's gonna show us his face!"

"Really? OMG!" Natsumi said. "Finally, the frogs have something cool this evening!"

Fuyuki beamed with the most delight out of all of them. "Another secret? I _love_ secrets!" And Dororo's normally so mysterious!"

Dororo shivered with fear. "You really wanna see it?"

"Yes!" Everyone said. And Dororo took off his mask. And he left it off for 15 long minutes. Everyone saw it, stared, and giggled. Except the narrator! It was reportedly just a typical adult Keronian face with a scar near the mouth, but the sheer shock of seeing Dororo's naked face was more than enough for a little merriment.

* * *

Now it was Pururu's turn. "OK, Kululu. Truth or Dare?"

"A girl can't dare, so Dare!"

"Okay, then. I dare you to eat you-know-what."

"You don't mean..."

"Oh yeah, I do. **The Gamma Galaxy Fist of God! Northwest Keron Variant!** "

"OH NO!" Kululu shrieked.

"What's **The Gamma Galaxy Fist of God!?** " Shin Keroro asked.

Giroro gave him a good explanation: "Basically Keroro's dad got drunk once when staying at our base and fed us all a supremely bad dinner, which we've come to call **The Gamma Galaxy's Fist of God!** It's a curry, goulash or borscht that involves microwaved, at-least-slightly overcooked veggies, sliced low-quality hot dogs and burgers, Thanksgiving turkey gravy imported from the USA, a little too much garlic, salt and pepper, and some spice mixes, served lukewarm and topped with raw potato slices. Sometimes, one of us feeds it to another person as a form of punishment, and we've developed variants that are all define by one ingredient: the veggies and meats can change, but at least one bonus ingredient defines each one. The Northwest Keron Variant features milk mixed with lemon juice, and adds puréed liqourice that is spread on the potato slices, all of which you have to eat."

"Ew."

"Kululu's lucky he didn't get the American variant!" Dororo said, "It's got heated mayonnaise spread on the potatoes and ground up breakfast cereal mixed into the curry. Trust me, it's one of the worst versions of an already vile dish!"

It was Keroro's duty to prepare the **Gamma Galaxy's Fist of God!** Thirty minutes later, Kululu was at a table, and Keroro brought in the dish. It was moderately sized, because Keroro felt bad for Kululu. Sure, he deserved it, but Keroro's eaten this before. Kululu dipped his spoon into the curry, and ate a bite of it with some of the potato. He chewed, barely able to stand the odd combinations of near-liquid carrots and peas, black licorice, raw potato, fast food-style burger meat, and mismatched spices. The dish seemed to get worse the more he took a bite, and the curdled milk made him sick. By the time he was done, he was ready to throw up. So, he walked over to the nearest bathroom, his face tinted green.

* * *

"At last, I finally get to go! Angol Mois, since you never had to suffer Truth or Dare due to the Tamama incident, which one would you like?"

"Hmmm. Truth seems safer, so I'll go with that."

"Good choice, because I have the perfect question for the occasion: what's your greatest fear?"

"Oh, my! That's a tough one." Mois pondered the question; she wasn't quite sure what she feared most. Then she figured out the answer:

"I think I first discovered what my worst fear was in a nightmare, once. I was going on a picnic with Keroro, and his face and voice were changing. Soon, he grew to over 30 feet tall, and picked me up. _Then he tore off my fingers and ate them, and then he grew these weird lumps, and then he was rubbing me all over his body._ _ **And then he put me in his mouth and chewed me and swallowed me and-**_ "

"Whoa, Lady Mois," Tamama interrupted. "At first I thought you were just acting, but then I started picturing these events in my mind. Great, now I'm going to have nightmares about Keroro using me to clean his faux-belly button. **Thanks,** Angol Mois!"

"You could say, _forraje pesadilla_."

* * *

"So, I think we've all had an intense slumber party so far." Keroro said.

"Yeah," Dororo opined. "That was a little too intense for me. Let us never speak of this event. Ever! Agreed?"

Everyone agreed. Even Kululu agreed. And most of them went upstairs to check on the humans.

Meanwhile, Garuru turned to Shin Keroro. "Are you also going to agree to never bring this up with others?"

Shin Keroro said nothing: he was too afraid, and also too shocked at all the crazy stuff that he witnessed. He thought to himself, 'Man, it's weird what parties can do to people!'

" _Are you!?_ "

Shin Keroro squealed in fear, and nodded his head up and down, vigorously. Keroro noticed, and decided to intervene. He pulled Garuru aside, and asked him, "I think he's a little terrified of you. Why don't you put Giroro's dumb clothes for this little boy? That'll cheer him up!"

"No, Sergeant Keroro. He was brave enough to say yes to my question. And there's no way I can put myself below this kid. I'm a man!"

"Who cares about manliness? It's a party! Come on, I'll help you."

A few minutes later, Keroro greeted Shin-Kero, and showed him Garuru in Giroro's weird, girly pirate outfit, making Shin-Kero giggle. Garuru was, of course, went red in the face in embarrassment. He turned to Keroro. "Sarge, you are quite the devil, today."

"Hey, Shin Keroro just a boy! I thought it would be fun for him. Now go on, take a cute picture with him."

"Ugh." Garuru wanted to voice his complaints, but he decided to just roll along with Keroro's plan. "I guess it's for the little boy, after all."

And so Keroro photographed the two together. Shin Keroro thanked him; "That was fun."

It warmed Keroro's little heart!


End file.
